Being single has it's advantages and disadvantages. You don't have to really deal with anyone else's problems, nor do you have to impress anyone. On the other hand, you forget about yourself, your body, and sometimes your health. I've come up with the notion that I don't want to be single anymore. I've recently done alot of different things to prepare myself for the dating scene.
I'm going to be 35 years old this year. I don't have any kids. I have a great job which I tend to hate from time to time. More recently now than ever before. But that's just a cycle in which I'm going through since i've come up on my 1 year anniversary. I want different things at work. My attitude is constantly changing and I need to harness myself before I get out of control with mind wandering, internet surfing, and lack of attention to detail when it comes to my job and performance.
I've come up with a plan, Since i'm going to be 35 in less than 6 months. It's time for the dating overhaul. I've got a checklist of things I need to acomplish before that period. Financially I want to be debt free. Credit cards paid down, lose about 60 lbs, save money, and pay off my vehicle which I'm currently paying 17% on for the next 4 years.
My auto loan is a constant reminder of my 1st goal achieved. Financially my last relationship almost drove me bankrupt. Alot of things went unpaid during the year long break up. ( that's an entirely different blog in itself) I moved back home almost 2 years ago, for several reasons.
1) To repair the financial destruction that was caused
2) To buy a house
3) To put myself back together mentally, and financially.
See I didn't have to move home. It was a choice that I made and an offer I took up to better myself. I wasn't going to be dating anyone anytime soon after my break up. Given what I had just been through, I'm surprised I didn't turn gay... LoL no, I don't like guys MOM, You will have grand kids one day, I promise. I took the offer, and it worked. I paid off 95% of my debt, repaired the credit and have since purchased a vehicle.
Now on to my second goal. When in a relationship, it's hard to keep track and focus on certain things when you are in love. Weight sometimes isn't an issue. You put on a few pounds here and there, next thing you know, you're not happy at all with the way you look like, but for some reason you can't do anything about it. The diet yo yo begins. 10 lbs here, 20 lbs there. Up down, up down. It seems for every 20 lbs that I lost, I gained 5 extra back. It doesn't help that I bloat like a woman, retain water like it's a second job. I know alot of this is because of my weight. Hence my second goal... WEIGHT LOSS !
I've always been a thick kind of guy, very husky and semi muscluar. I have that frame. I'm not ashamed of it, I like it. Only in the past 4 years, I've gained about 60 lbs. It's the constant reminder of why I gained weight in the first place that is driving me to lose it finally. I want nothing to do with my past relationship, that includes any memory of who I was or who I dated. Call it childish, or whatever you want to, but believe me when I say this, " That part of me is dead and has become a black hole in my memory. I can not remember anything good out of that period in my life. Even though I know that there were 6 years of pure happiness, I can't remember any of it, only the bad, horrible things that happened in the last year " .
I'm one of those good looking fat guys I guess. I have no problem meeting girls, getting numbers, and so on and so forth, but not good enough to date. Even though I wasn't ready, it's still nothing I want to hear. We as humans need to feel loved, cherished, and feel attractive. This is the part that i'm missing. I don't feel attractive anymore. I don't feel wanted. Believe me, I know this isn't true, but it's how I feel.
So, this is where I begin the transformation, I named this blog "2009, The year of the bride" only because, I'm NOT looking to get married this year, but I am going to start dating. I do however want to at least meet the person i'd concider marrying down the road. I'm not rushing into anything, I might not even like anyone that I date in 2009, but i'm optimistic. It's what gets me by. However, I do have a list of criteria that must be met.
1) You must have a car
2) You must have goals achieved or in place (personal or financial )
3) You should have ambition and drive to pursue your goals.
4) Must be drama free and optimistic
5) If you have a child, you must be open to having at least one more. It's important to me to have children of our own. If we are in a relationship and you have a child, I'm sure to love your child like my own, but would still like to go through the experience of having my own. That's whats important to me. I want to experience those emotions.
Well, This is all I have to say for now, I will be posting more blogs on this site and on my myspace page, www.myspace.com/jayeleitch Please feel free to peek inside my life.
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